Animal lust – a must to sell fizzy orange

A grunting, sexually predatory bear on a heat run ruts wholesale nba jerseys and thrusts his way through a forest full of various gyrating animals in skimpy underwear in a Narnia-esque man-beast orgy. This isn’t a sequel to Animal Farm Quietly (not the Orwellian classic – the other one). It’s the deeply disturbing bestial ad for Orangina. The ‘animal lust ad’ was produced by FFL, Paris, which was reportedly given the task of branding Orangina as the ‘beverage for perversion’. The ad was launched earlier in the year, but has been brought to Velvet’s legger attention again thanks to the Campaign website’s Top 10 surreal ads The TV ad begins with the grunting bear stalking his way through the forest looking to satisfy his animal desires when – lo and behold! – he comes across a wooded enclave with a busty doe in a naughty little blue dress, coyly perched on a swing. Bear sniffs her ears then, clearly in need of refreshment, snatches the doe’s bottle of Orangina from her and pours it onto the ground. A waste of tasty Orangina, you might think. But no! A blossom of red flowers a?o burst forth from the ground and the doe tumbles off the swing to land on them. The flowers float up towards the wholesale jerseys camera in a scene reminiscent of Lester Burnham’s Mena Suvari fantasy in American Beauty. Naughty doe, you little bear-teasing minx. Bear’s grunting gets louder, which is the cue for the horniest animals in the forest to join in. We are introduced to pole-dancing flamencos, grinding giraffes in pink corsets and an octopus that gives the bear a lap-dance in time to the Latino rhythm soundtrack. The same squid then squeezes two halves of an orange all over her semi-exposed chest. ‘Oh yeah… you like that, bear?’ Bear, it turns out, loves the banter, and continues to lap up the ass-slapping, bum-wiggling, leg-rutting atmosphere. He grabs another doe in a tiny pink two-piece swimsuit and dirty dances on a giant upturned orange half. Then the beasts’ collective racing pheromones take over and it all goes off. Orangina explodes forth from giant bottles straddled by writhing zebras in tiny pink bathing suits. They spurt their ein load all over the bouncing furry breasts of a corseted bunny, who writhes her way through it and shakes her tail at the second doe – who by now is herself enjoying a golden shower of the fizzy orange stuff. A panda’s corset is whipped away to reveal her wearing nipple tassels (of course she is). A horny lizard wraps his tongue around a swooning flower and Orangina erupts onto exposed, pulsating animal flesh from all corners of the forest. We learn two things about Orangina from this ejaculatory effort of an ad: 1. It’s a potent bestial aphrodisiac 2. It goes down great as an accompaniment to lavish animal orgies Bear – undoubtedly the star of the show with only a fig leaf covering his package – reminds me of the scene from Family Guy when Stewie daydreams about a beach holiday with his teddy bear, Rupert. Except in Stewie’s homoerotic daydream, Rupert appears with a toned human body wearing nothing but a pair of Speedos. It’s a super cheap nfl jerseys ad, in a sort of Animal Farm meets the Chronicles of Narnia meets Moulin Rouge way. It ends with the tagline: “Orangina naturellement pulpeuse”. Pulpeuse, you see, means ‘juicy’ in terms of fruit but also Motivation….or means ‘fleshy, curvaceous and sexy’ if we are talking (or grunting, in bear’s case) about the female form. So, now that’s all cleared up, I’m off to grab an Orangina and dry-hump the nearest deer.